Pretend you have a problem, maybe with a family member or co-worker. A friend notices that you’re angry and asks what’s wrong. You open up to describe what’s happening when you suddenly hear: “I know what you mean! That same thing happened to me! I completely understand how you feel. I figured out how to […]
Assumptions hinder helping
It’s easy to jump to conclusions, isn’t it? If you’ve been working in a profession for a long time and have day-to-day experience that informs your approach to work and makes it easy to assume, be aware: you may be getting cognitively lazy. Being cognitively lazy means you tend to assume you know the circumstances, […]
Using duct tape to help others
Imagine I tell you how exhausting it’s been training a new puppy while trying to work without getting distracted. (It has.) Or how frustrating it is to have technical issues while working on my Mac. (It is!) Or how I wish my husband didn’t have to travel so much for work. (I do.) How quickly, […]
When your desire to help gets in the way
My husband affectionately created a nickname for my mom: Polly Platitude. Whenever someone had a problem, she’d pull out a platitude in her well-meaning effort to resolve the issue. Sick as a dog? “Whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.” Your best friend betrays you? “Forgive and forget” because “time heals all wounds.” Your boyfriend […]
The arrogance of fixing people
My husband and I attended a business event several years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed myself — or at least I thought I had. After arriving home Jack looked at me and said, “Do you realize how often you finish people’s sentences? Or give them words as they are speaking?” “Huh?” was all I could say. […]
Three Aha! moments that changed my client’s life
Sheila (not her real name) is an incredibly intelligent, successful doctor. She has years of experience in a role that greatly impacts and influences a varied, large number of people. It wouldn’t surprise me if many of those people look at Sheila and admire her quiet confidence, strength of character and ability to get results. […]
What I Learned From An Older Mom: It Isn’t What You Think
Do you absolutely LOVE getting unsolicited advice from people? Are you thrilled when people show off their wisdom without first understanding your needs? Does it impress you to no end when someone takes charge of the conversation without leaving room for discussion and collaboration? Me neither. When I was a young mom, I met an […]
A Caution Label for Neuroscience: Separating Fact from Fiction
Have you heard of “brain porn” yet? I first saw the provocative term in a 2013 Harvard Business Review article to describe the mainstream media hype on neuroscience. The article stated that scientists are concerned that the reporting of neuroscience vastly oversimplifies the research and is creating a “burgeoning industry of neuroconsultants who suggest that […]
Neuroplasticity: It’s Not Too Late to Change Your Brain
Today, the U.S. Navy named one of its ships for former Arizona congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford. If you remember what happened to her three years ago, you’ll know why her presence at this ceremony is a testament of her strength and perseverance. You may also marvel at the power of her brain. It was January of […]
Step One to Doing Your Best Without Wearing Yourself Out
1. Be Aware. Have you ever been driving and noticed that the radio is on but you can’t quite hear it? It’s more background noise than music. You either ignore it or you turn it up to hear it more clearly. The same can be said about your self-talk (the chatter in your head). Turn […]